Each river every word
There's a room
that we keep finding ourselves in
and in that room
there's a river
and in that river
there's a voice
and in that voice
there's a history of power
that we eat in black mouthfuls
barely coming up for breath.
'Buat apa di sini?' A couple of the team members
knew some Malay. He was asking them what
they were doing there. The frangipani smell grew
so strong and sweet that it began to collapse
into the vinegar and fatty notes of rot. 'Kita nak
jalan ke-atas.' We want to go up. 'Tak boleh
jalan ke-atas. Pusing balik!' You can't go up here,
turn back! The group was already backing away,
turning around, apologising to the pakcik for
disturbing him. Later on, safely back at camp, the
team related their encounter to Uncle Chee Boon.
He noted the frangipani grove's supposed position
on his 'master map' with a question mark, two
question marks.
I think about power
and how it always
insists on itself:
a place from which to speak,
a place from which to look at other people
while also being seen,
a hand opening
towards what seems like forever.
What are you all doing here? We intend to get
to the top, Makcik. Do you know the rules of
this mountain? Yes, Makcik, I know the rules and
will observe them. Very well, do not forget. Yes,
Makcik, and, if I may ask, where are you going?
Saya datang dari laut yang berada di belakang
gunung ini, dan di situlah juga saya akan pergi.
Uncle Chee Boon could hear his students coming
up behind him. The old lady moved past him and
along the trail. I came from the sea that is beyond
this mountain, and there I am also going.
Moving from one world to another
is like dying in a dream
of hands and water.
Nothing is forgiven because
nothing is remembered
but the desires remain the same:
to be in a room with others
satisfied
tired of wonder
holding each other
with the good secret
of no longer having to insist on going
where we think we have to go.
These are a selection of poems originally published as part of Gregory Kan’s collections Under Glass in 2020 and Clay Eaters in 2025.
BIOGRAPHY
Gregory Kan is a writer and coder based in Pōneke, Wellington. His first collection of poetry, This Paper Boat, was shortlisted for the Ockham New Zealand Book Awards for poetry in 2017. Under Glass, his second collection, was longlisted for the award in 2020. He was the 2017 Grimshaw Sargeson Fellow. His third poetry book, Clay Eaters, was recently published by Auckland University Press in 2025.